Advice for being a better writer — Motherhood Musings

Here I am, 8 months since I last hit “publish” on my blog giving advice for the aspiring writer….and the reason I haven’t been writing is well, because I’ve been “writing”. Last fall I transferred from a community college to a University. I officially got enrolled in my degree plan a B.A. in Mass Communication
( minor/advertising P.R. Social media/ creative writing) and started applying for remote creative writing positions as well as internships. I got accepted for a paid internship opportunity through the marketing department of a local company that owns 2 businesses. I handle all the content creation, social media( it takes several interns for this one), blog posts, market research, website updates and more that there is too much to go into detail over. The long story short is when I went back to school for writing to get a degree to actually be able to build a career that could contribute to our family financially and then landed a “job” of sorts writing- it meant there was actually less time for my own “writing”.

This brings me to my first piece of “advice”- flexibility. Life changes, schedules change, needs change, family dynamics shift and/or all of the above. By all means still try to create the time and space you need to write even if it’s just journaling for yourself. But over these last 8 months as I’ve had un-penned words jumbled and floating around in my head and heart I’ve had to accept that writing will look different for me in every season of life. And that my expectations for it have to be flexible. My advice to you dear aspiring writer is don’t compare your journey to others, certainly not me. But understand that writing requires flexibility. When I first started freelancing before going back to school I was writing multiple pieces on a monthly basis as well as making multiple submissions. Right before my first semester, I had a piece featured almost monthly sometimes more. It was my “nap-time” “bedtime” “weekend” hustle before homework ate up every spare minute. And so now it looks different. I write an average of 8 blog posts a month often more since we schedule ahead for my local internship. I took on a second spring internship via my favorite women’s media company- Darling and have been writing 50 letters a week. Let’s not forget school…. it has looked like critical/analytical essays, advertising assignments, writing briefs on a weekly basis. Maybe in this season of life you’re writing to-do lists or lesson plans or meal plans. Maybe you’re writing emails or checks. Do not despair dear writer…. for you will always write. Simply because it is part of who you are and not just what you do. It will just look different from time to time.

Start small. My very first attempt at blogging was a mostly private blog thrown together in word press. But I wrote long before then… Pen pals, and journals. So many journals. This is really where I first learned to write for myself. Buy yourself a notebook, it doesn’t have to be fancy (moleskins are my favorite) and just write for you. Thoughts, dreams, frustrations, struggles, victories, observations… there’s no rule. No audience save yourself.

The next piece of advice is maybe even more important than the first ( although as a #studentworkingmother flexibility is pretty essential). To be a good writer, you have to first be a good reader. In my interview, they asked where I find/draw ideas for my writing. Obviously a lot of what I write is inspired by life, but a vast majority is inspired by reading. I am always consuming books, blogs, articles, magazines. Whatever I can, wherever I can. In honor of “reading well” I thought I would share a few of my favorite writers/ books/blogs below:
- Erin Loechner, author of Chasing Slow, Blog- Design for Mankind. Erin’s book changed so much for me… her heart, her perspective, her journey resonated so deeply. But her writing “style” or “voice” is uniquely her own. When I tire of words, I read her blog. Her writing is always heartfelt, timely, authentic, and never “gimmicky” or “pitchy”.
- Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and famous Ted Talk-er and researcher of shame and vulnerability. Her books helped me to heal and process some wild and painful experiences I’ve had in life. She is equal parts storyteller/researcher but her words and books are honest… and that could be one of the most important quality for good writing in my opinion
- Shauna Niequest, author of Present Over Perfect, but the first book I read and fell in love with by her was Cold Tangerines. She is a storyteller through and through and her words are always so timely and poignant.
- Morgan Harper Nichols, you’ve likely seen her unique poetry and artwork floating around instagram or social media. She creates art from peoples stories, but reading her poetry on Instagram every day is like a breath of fresh air, like someone can see straight into your soul and is speaking right to the heart of the matter no matter what is going on your life. She also published a book of poetry this year: All along you were blooming- Thoughts for boundless living. If you buy and read one book this year… get this one.
Find your tribe. This seems like one of the most cliche messages going around right now. So I’ll rephrase: find like minded friends. Find kindred spirits. Find community. The idea of the lone wolf or writer seems romantic in theory. But creativity long term requires community. People to cheer you on , call you on, hold you accountable when you feel like quitting. Speak truth when you can’t see clearly. This applies to all of life’s endeavors not just writing. One of my favorite communities for writing is TheKindred Voice (previously Holl and Lane). They are a publication for real women with real stories without judgement or shame. I’ve written several pieces for their blog and magazine. And also devoured their resources - they have several ebooks for how to get published in a magazine as well as writing prompts and they host writing intensives. I took two this spring- one on motherhood and one on body image. I loved the community and thought provoking prompts. I also support them through Patreon because I believe in what they do.
Kindred writing intensives and ebooks for community and improving and honing your writing skills.
The next thing after you’ve embraced flexibility, started small, and sought our your community is where to submit? Alot, of publications I’ve written for I followed via social media for awhile before pitching. It is a good idea to have regular interaction with a blog or site you hope to be featured by. The place where I first got a compensated writing opportunity was Submittable. It is a submission management platform. You can search by topic, opportunity, publication, deadline etc. And is worthwhile for just getting started because it’s free and just might offer you your first published opportunity.

The last one is for fun. Very few things are needed to write. A pen and paper and your thoughts. I have a favorite robe I like to wear and usually light a candle. But I have a favorite “writing playlist”. Which brings me to my last point. Set the tone or mood for your writing time. Maybe it’s a hot coffee, or desk lamp or candle. Maybe some room spray or favorite sweater. Whatever say’s “its writing time” for you. But if you’re interested here’s my writing playlist. Mostly songs from favorite soundtracks and “moody” writing music that makes me feel thoughtful and reflective.

I call this all advice because I don’t think there’s ever a guarantee that worked for me is the end all be all for you. But every time another creative/writer/storyteller shares their process their “advice” I feel validated at the least… So I hope you find validation in your own journey or processes. There’s no magic formula or secret method though some ideas suggestions have been tried and true for me personally. The world needs you. Your words. Your idea’s. Your story and your perspective. I heard someone say before that their niche for writing was already oversaturated. There is always room for you. If there’s something you experienced or lived or wonder about and you can’t read about it anywhere- write it. Even if it’s a topic you feel has been written about a million times - write it. Maya Angelou said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”. The world needs your stories and your words dear writer. Share any advice you have for other writers below, we rise by lifting each other!

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